Things I missed years ago are now seen in a different light. Like how then he got sober and started to make a serious attempt to clean up his life after she told him he could go drink himself to death and she and the In October We Wear Pink Breast Cancer Halloween Pink Pumpkin Sunflower Witch T-Shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this kids would be just fine. Or how he rage quit his job giving up a pension and retirement benefits just two weeks before at the same time she was studying for her exams required to land a job that paid twice what he did. Thank god it didn’t work, she told him after that “Well, now I have no choice but to get the job, you idiot.” So yeah, great relationship – until my mother stood up to him on something she wanted that would benefit her. I really believe a lot of his suddenly stopping drinking and all of the attention he got around it, may have very well come from a place of knowing he no longer sat in the driver’s seat of the relationship AND it also made sure people didn’t notice his wife suddenly was the main breadwinner. And yeah, that getting sober thing? Yeah, that took a few years and a ton of meltdowns and fights but eventually he backed down on it all knowing she could leave him and take us kids and he’d have nothing.
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I’m happy the In October We Wear Pink Breast Cancer Halloween Pink Pumpkin Sunflower Witch T-Shirt but I will buy this shirt and I will love this man got sober, but in hindsight some of it at least was in response to my mother refusing to let him control her any longer. So take another hard honest look. How many times have you had to compromise with this man on things or how often do you walk on eggshells with him.? Because no one who is a good person who goes immediately to “I’d have to kill you,” to the person they claim to love. The only person I’ve ever joked about killing was myself; and at the time I wanted to. (I’m better now, don’t worry) That would be my queue to exit the relationship. No matter how good of a guy he may be, he literally threatened to murder you if you opted to abort “his baby”. To emphasize his point? Doesn’t matter. He’s already claiming possession of a hypothetical fetus that would be inside of and using your body. yeah he doesn’t see you as a sentient individual. also, decided to not talk politics early in the relationship…….. everything we do is political. how can you brush that under the rug? healthy discourse is what keeps us going but just ignoring these glaring differences… OP, you maybe flexible, but your partner isn’t as open minded as you are, clearly. I’m so sorry, he just told you your value in his eyes. You can’t unhear that and everyday you will feel less valuable as you continue to choose someone else over yourself. I tell you this because if you choose to stay, you need to fight to retain your own self-worth. I also inferred her worth to him, especially emphasized by the “his baby.” Like, he sees a hypothetical, unborn fetus as only his AND more it’s more valuable than her? Scary. His surface persona might be amicable to those who fit into his boxes of acceptable, but that certainly doesn’t make him nice.